on cats, and whether or not they're the worst

i've never been a cat person.

growing up, my brother and i were both allergic so we never had them as pets. none of my friends had cats, really. if they did, i wasn't allowed to play at their house anyways on account of all the itching and scratching and sneezing that was bound to happen. that was always the question when it came to sleepovers and birthday parties, you know? well, do they have cats? come to think of it, my aunts and uncles never had cats. grandparents either. i've been living an entirely cat-free life!

cat-free. going on 22 years.

so. as you can see, cats and i have never really been friends. i'm all about dogs. who isn't? who doesn't love dogs? (nobody, that's who) but cats? plenty of people hate cats! they're snobby and cold and how do you even play with a cat? you can't take them on walks or to the beach or even give them a decent bath!

cats, man.

here's my dilemma -  j likes cats. he might even be a cat person. (i can't even type that without cringing!) (stupid cats!) we both really miss having pets and we both love big dogs. (we plan to have at least one husky, one golden retriever, one great dane, and one samoyed during our lifetime) obviously, though, the closet that we'll soon be living in in new york is no place for a great dane, so we have to put our big-dog-dreams on hold for awhile.

in the meantime...... j thinks we should get a cat. i'm still allergic, thank you very much, is what i told him. i thought that was my easy-out, you know? allergies! end of discussion. but naturally, he found a way around it. have you ever heard of a ragdoll cat? apparently they're the one type of cat out there that i might not be allergic to. they're known for being extremely lazy, friendly, and especially low-maintenance. my favorite part is that they're famous (or infamous) for being "docile and floppy". hehe.

at first i was all opposed and trying to put my foot down and fee fi fo fum, and what have you. but i do miss having a pet. and those kittens are kind of cute (i guess). and how could i resist an animal that's known for being floppy? i mean really. needless to say, i'm having an identity crisis over here because who would i even BE if i suddenly started liking cats?

are floppy kittens worth breaking 21-years of cat sobriety? now that is the question.

5 things i'd like to tell my 13-year-old self

do you ever wish you could go back and meet yourself at different ages of your life? for example, i think it would be hilarious to meet myself as a 3-year-old. or to listen to myself talk as a 6-year old. maybe to see how i spent my days when i was 10. (how does a 10-year-old spend her days anyways?) i really don't remember too much about being little. i only think of myself as being the age that i am today, not any of the ages that added up to this one. somehow the fact that i was actually a kid at one point seems hard to believe. you know what i mean?

sometimes i wonder what i would say to Younger Me, if we were ever to meet. i don't know about you, but if i had one chance to travel back in time and give myself some advice, i'd go straight to the dark (dark) ages of Thirteen. do you remember being 13? i think i've tried to block it out of my brain, but there are still bits and pieces that haunt my memory - like flashbacks from a really scary movie. heh. i was all sorts of sassy at 13. moody. bratty. awkward. majorly self-conscious. short, never sweet. a professional eye-roller. the queen of back-talking. a real charmer, for sure!

oi. thirteen is rough. at thirteen, i really could have used some good advice. (not that i would have listened though) (i probably would have rolled my eyes - at myself!)

but c'est la vie. here are 5 things i'd like to tell my 13-year-old self:

01. it really isn't necessary to wear makeup to the grocery store, heather.

i have this really distinct memory of refusing to go out in public - especially to the grocery store - without putting makeup on. i was spending the summer at my dad's house and we were making all sorts of trips to the grocery store. he's the type of shopper who doesn't go once or twice a month and stock up. instead, he goes as needed. a gallon of milk here. orange juice there. maybe some fruit the next day. shoot! we forgot bread. back we go! he would always invite me to go along with him (because there's nothing quite like father-daughter time in the cereal aisle) and instead of being a normal human being, i insisted that i needed to "get ready" for the store. and when i said "get ready", i meant it. makeup. hair. i even demanded time to pick out an outfit (for the grocery store!!!). sigh. poor dad. all he wanted was to shoot the breeze get some damn orange juice.

(i really enjoy grocery shopping with him now) (sans-makeup)

02. you look good in jeans. 

i went through this really weird phase when i didn't wear jeans for an entire year. (i know) i was completely convinced that jeans did not belong on my body. cross my heart, hope to die. i went to middle school with a bunch of string beans, and since my legs didn't look quite as bean-pole-ish as theirs, i banned jeans (and pants of any kind, damnit!) from my wardrobe. to hell with you, pants! i said. i think i wore a lot of dresses and tights instead. as if that was some kind of camouflage. or something. anyhow, after a year had gone by (and i had exhausted every possible combination of dresses and tights that i owned), i finally tried on a pair of pants and couldn't believe that i actually liked how they looked.

03. blue eyeshadow is never appropriate.

ever.

04. your parents are really cool. 

my parents should receive some kind of medal or gold star for dealing with my 13-year-old self. it's kind of a miracle that they still like me and want to be friends after that year of hell i put them through. draaaaama queen, party of one. i definitely prioritized things like myspace (i know) and going to the mall (i know) over hanging out with my parents. its a shame because my mom and dad are both really great. and funny. and fun. and normal. and not embarrassing, like i kept telling them they were. now my mom is one of my best friends. and talking to my dad is the quickest way to make a bad day good again. (i could have used friends like them at 13)

05.  it's okay to not have a giant group of friends.

my middle school and (and high school) were painfully stereotypical. like, laughably so. i swear to you, mean girls was inspired by my class. we had jocks and cheerleaders and band geeks and even our own group of Plastics. (here's a visual) back in those days, people always seemed to travel around in packs. packs of cheerleaders. packs of drama kids. i had plenty of friends, but i didn't have a pack. i usually traveled around with my best friend and that was that. we forged our own path! but i always secretly wanted a big group. of course, most of those packs have since broken up and nobody really stayed friends anyways (thanks, facebook). but lauren and i? still going strong.

what would you want to tell your 13-year-old self?

free at last, free at last

ladies and gentleman! 

children of all ages! 

feast your eyes upon this spectacular miracle: it's me, as a free woman!

free at last, free at last. YOU GUYS. i am free from summer school at last.

i really have fallen off the face of the blogging world lately (sorry, little blog!) and i blame my silence on the fact that i've been buried under a monstrous pile of homework. but alas! after 10 painful weeks, i finally climbed out! i am finally done with homework and tests and all those other terrible things that should never happen between june and september. as i'm sure you already know, school and the summertime do not mix well. i really don't know what possessed me to take summer courses, but i can say with full confidence that i will never voluntarily give up that sweet, sweet summertime again. i mean really. is there anything more painful than having to study in the middle of an august afternoon while everyone else is running around and playing outside? 

well, there probably is. but you get the idea. 

it feels like a giant weight has been lifted. i can finally be a real person again! a real person who does real things! amazingly, i still have quite a bit of vacation time left, so i plan to squeeze every last summery drop out of the next couple weeks. 

as you can see, i didn't waste any time diving into the spirit of summer. 

it's always a rare delicacy for j & i to have the same day off from work, so this weekend we decided to take full advantage. in celebration of my newfound freedom, we took a daytrip to the coast. and oh, how i love the coast. 

even the drive up there felt like a giant sigh of relief. if you didn't already know, i am a professional - the queen! - when it comes to taking on too many things at once. most of the time, i like to try and spin all the plates. but man. having one less plate to spin felt pretty amazing. just being able to sit down and watch the road pass by felt luxurious. 

anyways. 

i'm starting to wonder if growing up alongside the california beaches has turned me into a bit of a beach snob, because i was legitimately surprised at how nice the oregon coast really is. wait, only california is allowed to have nice beaches! granted, i didn't walk away with the same sparkly bronze tan that i would have at home (in fact, i was sporting the classic oregon-summer-outfit of jeans and a sweater), but c'est la vie. the coast certainly has its perks. there was hardly anyone else around which made it feel like we had the whole beach to ourselves. it was quiet and cool and peaceful. even after a few hours i wasn't ready to leave. 

we ended up stopping at a handful of little tiny beach towns throughout the day. needless to say, some serious fish & chips were involved. and maybe (handfuls and handfuls of) saltwater taffy. mmmm. it was fun to explore new parts of oregon (and shameful that i haven't done more exploring in the last couple years!). it was definitely my ideal kind day - not having a plan, and letting little adventures unfold along the way. 

on another note, i hardly know what to do with all this free time! i've gotten so used to my routine of coming home from work and diving straight into homework that now, i'm really at a loss. after work today i came home and just sort of sat on the couch for a couple minutes and stared around the room.

free time? what does that mean? 

well.
here's what it means!

i'm going to read all the books that i bought at the beginning of summer. i'm going to ride my bike. clean out my closet. bake something. cook something. eat popsicles. spend more time outside. spend more time with people, and not with textbooks. watch movies. swim. put my sunscreen to good use. and my camera. go on walks. try a new restaurant. read some more. blog some more. enjoy some more.

the bucket list

this morning I woke up extra extra early so that I could catch an extra extra early train. as it so happens, I'm on the train right now, and by the way, who knew trains could be so spacious? I mean, really. I practically have the whole cart to myself over here. apparently the 5am train isn't very popular.

there's something about being on a train and passing all these open fields and little farmhouses and watching the sun rise that makes me feel all nostalgic-like. (you're supposed to read that sentence with a southern drawl, if you couldn't tell) anyways. sunrises and sunsets have got to be the biggest cliché on earth, but even I have to say that there's something pretty fantastic about getting to watch them happen. this week has unexpectedly been one of the best weeks I've had in a long time and as a result, I'm feeling especially thankful for all the people in my life and all the things I've been able to do.

all this thankfulness business has got me thinking about bucket lists. (is that the silliest name or what? has anyone ever actually kicked a bucket?)

have you ever made a bucket list? it's kind of a fun thing to think about. now that I've gone skydiving, I'm anxious to continue ticking the boxes on my list of adventures-to-be.

01. go skydiving
02. run a half marathon
03. run a full marathon
04. travel to every continent 
05. learn to play the piano
06. live in new york city 
07. own my own business 
08. drive a race car
09. write a book
10. marry my best friend 

What's on your Bucket List?

all quiet on the blogging front

it's been a little quiet around here. I know.
but sometimes life just gets in the way and there's hardly enough time to sleep!
c'est la vie.

last week I had a bit of a breakdown. heh. sometimes life is just too much, you know? school and work were kind of taking over everything (or so I felt) and there was laundry to do and the apartment was messy and J & I never had time to just be in the same room for five minutes without having to work on this or return that call or run that errand or blah blah BLAH. sometimes I stretch myself too thin. I like to think that I can do it all, handle everything, and juggle a million things at once. and sometimes I can! sometimes I do it well. and sometimes (this time), it just wasn't happening. so last week, right in the middle of our chinese takeout dinner, I burst into tears. all over my orange chicken.

and then, everything was okay. sometimes a good cry is all you need. you know?

in more exciting news: next week, J & I are GRADUATING!!
it hasn't really sunk in yet. with how crazy these last weeks have been, it doesn't seem like one of those big "milestone" moments is about to happen. I guess that's always the way, though. they never seem real until they're happening, or until they're over. it seems like just yesterday I was graduating from high school, and suddenly, here I am putting on a cap and gown all over again. time really does fly. (all those people were right!)

he & I both have family coming into town this weekend which I am thrilled about. family time is just what I need to make me feel sane again. miraculously, we get to take a few days off (the same few days!) and escape our schedules for awhile. my mom will be in town (hooray!) and we have a handful of frivolous, girly things planned like wine tasting, a day at the spa, etc. a true girl's weekend indeed.

it'll probably be quiet around here for the next couple days, but stay tuned! exciting updates to come.

(check out that dreamy bedroom, here)

pinterest therapy

Does Pinterest ever feel like therapy to you?

I'm in the midst of Finals which means that everything in my world seems to be coming with an extra dose of crazy. The end of the term is always a whirlwind. I feel like I have a million things to do, a million more things that I can't forget to do, and (of course) not enough time to do it all. I'm sure you know the feeling.

Sometimes pictures of beautifully decorated apartments and puppies just really takes the edge off. You know?

out of the loop

Are you a news junkie?
I have never been the type.
I don't have a newspaper subscription (does anybody anymore?) and I never turn the TV to a news station. I suppose I could read the news online if I wanted to. But I don't. I never do.

Part of me thinks this is because 9 out of 10 times, the news is pretty rotten. When was the last time you opened your newspaper and read anything positive or uplifting? Were you motivated? Inspired? Or did you just flip through one depressing headline after the next? I think I've come to always expect bad news, so subconsciously (or maybe consciously, who knows?) I just choose to avoid it.

Part of me, though, wonders if this disconnection is a bad thing. A selfish thing. A naïve thing.
For instance, I only heard about the tornados in Oklahoma because someone happened to mention something about it on Facebook. Is that shameful or what? Lately I've been realizing how little I actually know about what's going on in the world right now - the good or the bad - and for that, I feel pretty guilty. If I'm not paying attention to anything "out there", what is all my attention being focused on?

I'll tell you!
It's on me. Me me me me me.
My life - all my little responsibilities and problems and joys and worries. My routine.

I hate that word - routine. But how can you avoid it? It's so easy to fall into one. We all do.
We wake up. Go through the motions. We're out the door. We go to work, we go to school. Attend meetings. Attend classes. Clock in, clock out. Take the bus. Sit in traffic. Kick off our shoes. And most likely, continue working. Clean this. Wash that. Finish this. Prepare for that. Add to the To-Do list. Run that errand. Return those calls (or not). Barely remember to shower. Go to bed. Repeat.

I don't know about you, but I think it's pretty easy to get so caught up in your own life that you forget the fact that there's a whole world out there. A world outside your conference call, your final exam, your dinner plans. A world with people facing bigger problems than having to sit at a long red light or work on a Saturday night. A world much much bigger than your little world. My little (teeny tiny) world.

I know that I am more guilty of this than most. It's (too) easy (for me) to be selfish. It's easy for me to get absorbed in all my "things" and tune everything else out. And I don't think my solution is to start reading the news every day. But I always find myself humbled when I am reminded that there is life beyond my own little bubble. Whether it's reading the news or joining a club or just being brave enough to speak up in class - these are the connections that are so important and provide such valuable perspective.  It's like coming up for fresh air. Do you know what I mean?

I am only one person.

wine with that haircut?

Here's a fun fact: before yesterday, I hadn't gotten a haircut since Christmas.
I always think that if I stop cutting my hair, it'll just grow and grow into long magical Sleeping Beauty locks. But in reality, my hair is thin and stringy and no matter how many products I run through it, it is in fact very un-magical. So after six months of not cutting it, all I was left with were a bunch of split ends. The time had come! 

Have you ever had a bad haircut?
I have. Bad, bad.
If you ask me, there are few worse things than being turned around in one of those fancy swivel haircut chairs at the end of your appointment and hating what you see. No! Wait! I take it back! I didn't want the bangs! Here's another fun fact: before my very first high school dance, I went and got my hair "professionally" styled, thinking I would come out looking like this. Instead I turned around looking a little more like this. It was bad news. Bad, bad news. My mom didn't even pretend to like it. Heh. She was equally as horrified as I was. So there we were in the salon, feeling traumatized. There were 30 minutes left before I was supposed to be all fancy and sparkly for my date. Talk about disaster! We looked at each other, and without having to say a word, we knew what had to be done. After breaking a few traffic laws getting home, I jumped in the shower (after removing roughly 8,000 bobby pins), ran the dryer through my hair, and ran out the door 20 minutes later with very unfancy, unstyled hair. But it was okay.

Anyhow.
Fortunately, yesterday was disaster-free. And even more fortunate was the complementary glass of wine that accompanied my haircut. Now that's what I'm talkin' about.

What are your hair rituals? Do you get your hair cut every couple months, or wait until the very last minute, like me?

on doing creative work

s o u r c e

"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, and I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through." - Ira Glass I can sure relate to this. Can you?

10 things you may or may not have known (about me)

You know what "ice breakers" are, right? (Not the mint, the game)
If you don't already know, consider yourself lucky. You dodged a real bullet! Ice breakers are usually played when you join some kind of new group or club, and the person in charge wants everyone to relax and get to know each other (you know, and break the ice). Sounds pretty reasonable right?

Well.
I have played my fair share of ice breakers (joining new clubs in high school, my college orientation, moving into the dorms, etc.). I don't know about you, but I'd say 99% of the ice breakers I've had to play are just downright awkward. "Time for an ice breaker, everyone!" Instant dread.

The concept is great. Loosen people up, get 'em out of their shells. But come on! There must be some better way for people to get comfortable with each other than having to do things like go around in a circle and sing part of their favorite song. (Seriously though. This has happened to me.) We want everyone to relax and get to know each other! So here, play this really awkward game with all these strangers! Sing! Dance! Stand on your head!

(Okay, we didn't have to stand on our heads)

It's pretty painful. But, I'll admit. By the end, after everyone has successfully done something slightly humiliating, it is a little easier to become friends.

So not to break tradition or anything, but how about a less embarrassing ice breaker?

10 things you may or may not have known (about me) :

1. I am a natural blonde. Kind of. In middle school, I dyed my hair bright pink (because my mom was amazing, and let me do things like that). After that phase was over and I was ready to go back to being my natural-blonde-self, my hair started growing in brown! So now, I'm a natural brunette. I think.

2. If I could only eat 3 things for the rest of my life, they'd (easily) be: avocados, strawberries, and chocolate cake.

3. My first concert was Shania Twain. Y'all.

4. Once while traveling abroad, my best friend and I stayed with a family in France for an entire week. They didn't speak a word of English and we didn't speak a word of French. It was an interesting week.

5. Despite my best efforts, I can't keep nail polish on for more than 24 hours without chipping.

6. There are lots of movies I love, but the 3 that I could watch over and over again are: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Dirty Dancing, and Mona Lisa Smile.

7. I own every season of Gilmore Girls on DVD.

8. If I could spend the day with any celebrity, it would have to be Morgan Freeman.

9. This summer, J and I will be taking salsa-dancing classes! Definitely stay tuned for that.

10. In my bag you will always find: Burts Bees, a small bottle of lavender oil, black ink pens, and dark chocolate hearts (for emergency situations, obviously).

What are some things people may or may not know about you?

5 good things about this week

Midterms have been keeping me pretty busy these past couple days. Zzzzzzz.
But! Despite the studying, essay writing, and wishing-I-could-be-doing-anything-else-besides-studying, a few good things have still made their way into my week:

1. A new ice cream parlor opened up one block away from our place. One block away!!!!! If you didn't already know, J & I are major ice cream enthusiasts (him: mint chocolate chip, me: pralines & cream) so in our world, this is basically breaking news.

2. In the spirit of eating more healthily, I've been trying different combinations of salads (thrilling news, I know). Lately, my favorite jumbalaya has been spinach + beets + goat cheese, and yesterday I discovered a nearby spot where I can get one on-the-go. Seeing as how goat cheese on its own tends to cost the same as a small vehicle, this is pretty great. Yay, food! 

3. I discovered this song and can't. stop. listening. It's been on repeat for the last couple days.

4. I finally got my bike tires fixed so that I can start riding to school again. No more taking the bus! Hallelujah! I forgot how much I love riding bikes, especially now that the weather is getting warmer. (Did you know? J & I have matching bikes that were originally his grandparents. I'm still trying to get him on board with matching baskets, bells, and tassels but for some reason he still doesn't seem too enthused)

5. This morning, we woke up to the rain.

What's making your week better?

a lately list | happy things

sleeping with the windows open | driving with the windows down | getting my first sunburn of the spring | this really delicious yogurt | the fact that it's almost strawberry season! | all those sundresses on sale at Target | endless cups of iced coffee | that it's still sunny at 8pm | coconut ice cream | going on walks | having class outside | this song

What's making you happy these days?

5 reasons why I can't wait to move to New York

(look at me, being blonde!)

Ten months ago I had never been to New York City.

And since then, I've only visited two times. 

............And in a few months, J & I are planning on calling it home. (HA!)

Every time I say that out loud, I can't help but laugh. We're moving to New York. (Isn't that something that people only do in movies?) I think the reason that I laugh is because it's gonna be such a leap of faith. We're moving clear across the country, to a place where we really don't know anyone, with about $10 in our pockets.

Woohooo!

When I got back from New York (the first time), I couldn't get it out of my head. You know when you get something new, like a new dress or a bag, suddenly you start seeing it everywhere? That's what happened when I got home. Suddenly New York was everywhere. All my favorite bloggers are based in NYC (so I'm always reading about it). Without realizing it beforehand, my favorite shows are based in New York (so I'm always watching it). Even some of the books I've been reading for school are New-York-themed (so I'm even studying it)! It's kind of ridiculous. And kind of torturous. I'm getting so anxious to go.

My second visit really sealed the deal. I met J in NYC for New Years and stayed for ten luxurious days. The second time around, I got to explore so many new places and see the city in an entirely new light. Summer and winter in New York are two different places and I'm glad I got to see both extremes. It was pretty wonderful. And freezing (and I mean freezing). I have never been so cold in my entire life. But seeing that city in the wintertime was enough to make me wish that my ticket had been a one-way.

So! Among many more, here are 5 reasons that I can't wait to move to  New York:

1. All the walking. 
For all you seasoned New Yorkers out there, this probably seems silly. But, I couldn't believe how much walking we did every day! We got great exercise without even planning on it (now that's my kind of workout). Plus, being on foot as opposed to in a car was a much better way to get to know the city.

2. The apartments.
While we were visiting, one of our favorite things to do was just walk around different neighborhoods. It certainly was fun to pretend that we lived in all those penthouses, but J & I know what we're getting ourselves into. Maybe we really are crazy, but at this point in our lives, there's just something charming about a teeny-tiny five-story walkup.

3. All those posts about the city. 
I love being able to read blogs that are based in New York. Obviously, having only visited the city twice (and in vacation-mode), there is a ton that I don't know. These blogs are like little sneak previews into a world that I can't wait to be apart of. These posts by Meg always make me excited about living in New York. And of course, just about every one of Taza's.

4. Always being on-the-go.
I'll admit, I love being lazy. Spending the day cuddled up at home with a book or a good movie is my cup of tea. But when I was in New York, all I wanted to do was keep going going going. We'd finish one little adventure and it would be right on to the next. We'd wake up every morning, take the fastest shower possible, and head right out the door (usually without an agenda). I loved that. It felt like no time was being wasted.There was always something to see, to learn, and to try.

5. The restaurants! 
Let's be real. If you want something delicious, and you want the best of it, New York is where you'll find it. Even in my two short trips, I had some of the best meals of my life. Dinosaur BBQ (among many other amazing places) now holds a special place in my heart (and J's, too). You can find ideas for where to eat in NYC here.

how to spend your free time

Free time. Sweet, sweet free time. 

Around here, free time is a rare delicacy. J & I are both pretty busy bees, so getting a day off is quite the  luxury - especially getting the same day off! It would be nice if our schedules matched up a little more. Usually as one person is getting home from work or school, the other one is heading out the door (just enough time for a high-five!). So when it just so happens that we have the same day off, it always feels like a mini adventure. An entire day to ourselves?! What are we going to DO?! We could do ANYTHING! We could go ANYWHERE! 

.......... and then, we usually end up at home in our pajamas, watching Law & Order reruns and probably ordering a pizza.

Can you relate?
I always have these grand, fabulous plans for how I want to spend my day off, but by the time the end of the week rolls around the only thing I want to do is relax. My weeks usually consist of lots of running around - going from class to class and from job to job, hopping on the bus or riding my bike - so as unadventurous as it might sound, sometimes spending the whole day cuddled up at home is the perfect way to spend my day off.

What do you like to do with free time? How do you spend your time off?