5 things i'd like to tell my 13-year-old self

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

do you ever wish you could go back and meet yourself at different ages of your life? for example, i think it would be hilarious to meet myself as a 3-year-old. or to listen to myself talk as a 6-year old. maybe to see how i spent my days when i was 10. (how does a 10-year-old spend her days anyways?) i really don't remember too much about being little. i only think of myself as being the age that i am today, not any of the ages that added up to this one. somehow the fact that i was actually a kid at one point seems hard to believe. you know what i mean?

sometimes i wonder what i would say to Younger Me, if we were ever to meet. i don't know about you, but if i had one chance to travel back in time and give myself some advice, i'd go straight to the dark (dark) ages of Thirteen. do you remember being 13? i think i've tried to block it out of my brain, but there are still bits and pieces that haunt my memory - like flashbacks from a really scary movie. heh. i was all sorts of sassy at 13. moody. bratty. awkward. majorly self-conscious. short, never sweet. a professional eye-roller. the queen of back-talking. a real charmer, for sure!

oi. thirteen is rough. at thirteen, i really could have used some good advice. (not that i would have listened though) (i probably would have rolled my eyes - at myself!)

but c'est la vie. here are 5 things i'd like to tell my 13-year-old self:

01. it really isn't necessary to wear makeup to the grocery store, heather.

i have this really distinct memory of refusing to go out in public - especially to the grocery store - without putting makeup on. i was spending the summer at my dad's house and we were making all sorts of trips to the grocery store. he's the type of shopper who doesn't go once or twice a month and stock up. instead, he goes as needed. a gallon of milk here. orange juice there. maybe some fruit the next day. shoot! we forgot bread. back we go! he would always invite me to go along with him (because there's nothing quite like father-daughter time in the cereal aisle) and instead of being a normal human being, i insisted that i needed to "get ready" for the store. and when i said "get ready", i meant it. makeup. hair. i even demanded time to pick out an outfit (for the grocery store!!!). sigh. poor dad. all he wanted was to shoot the breeze get some damn orange juice.

(i really enjoy grocery shopping with him now) (sans-makeup)

02. you look good in jeans. 

i went through this really weird phase when i didn't wear jeans for an entire year. (i know) i was completely convinced that jeans did not belong on my body. cross my heart, hope to die. i went to middle school with a bunch of string beans, and since my legs didn't look quite as bean-pole-ish as theirs, i banned jeans (and pants of any kind, damnit!) from my wardrobe. to hell with you, pants! i said. i think i wore a lot of dresses and tights instead. as if that was some kind of camouflage. or something. anyhow, after a year had gone by (and i had exhausted every possible combination of dresses and tights that i owned), i finally tried on a pair of pants and couldn't believe that i actually liked how they looked.

03. blue eyeshadow is never appropriate.


04. your parents are really cool. 

my parents should receive some kind of medal or gold star for dealing with my 13-year-old self. it's kind of a miracle that they still like me and want to be friends after that year of hell i put them through. draaaaama queen, party of one. i definitely prioritized things like myspace (i know) and going to the mall (i know) over hanging out with my parents. its a shame because my mom and dad are both really great. and funny. and fun. and normal. and not embarrassing, like i kept telling them they were. now my mom is one of my best friends. and talking to my dad is the quickest way to make a bad day good again. (i could have used friends like them at 13)

05.  it's okay to not have a giant group of friends.

my middle school and (and high school) were painfully stereotypical. like, laughably so. i swear to you, mean girls was inspired by my class. we had jocks and cheerleaders and band geeks and even our own group of Plastics. (here's a visual) back in those days, people always seemed to travel around in packs. packs of cheerleaders. packs of drama kids. i had plenty of friends, but i didn't have a pack. i usually traveled around with my best friend and that was that. we forged our own path! but i always secretly wanted a big group. of course, most of those packs have since broken up and nobody really stayed friends anyways (thanks, facebook). but lauren and i? still going strong.

what would you want to tell your 13-year-old self?


  1. I loooooove this post! It's so unbelievably true, particularly 3, 4, and 5 for me! Ugh, blue eyeshadow. WHY did i wear it so much!?

  2. I love this so much. Lately I have been reflecting back on my teenage years as I had just recently turned 18 years old. I agree with a lot of the things you have mentioned.

  3. I really enjoyed this post...oooh what wouldn't I tell to my 13 year old spoiled brat old-self... I laughed with the one with the jeans on #2... it reminded me!..I STILL never ever wear jeans.. I don't like them in my body and I think my hips and thighs were not created to wear jeans haha..I don't think I'll ever get over that trauma... anyway.. same thoughts on the blue eye shadow and parents being cool as well... I guess I'd tell my 13 year start doing yoga instead of waiting until I was 25... to turn vegan instead of waiting to do so at the age of never ever fall for a certain guy at the age of 24... to start researching about careers because the choice I made after high school was wrong.. to be nicer with my parents... wish I could go back so badly...

  4. oh yes!!! i remember being 13. i was trying to do everything in different ways. if i could turn back, i'd like to tell my 13 year old self " Listen to your mother. she's always right. always"

  5. Wow. We pretty much summed up my 13yo self! I often think about how I was... how I acted towards my family and loved ones... I was a bitch. I'm not sure what was going on inside of me, but it's definitely not an age I am proud of.

    I would tell my 13yo self to fucking relax. Enjoy life, enjoy the time with your family and quite stressing over small things and honestly things that are meaningless.

    It's always fun to think about these things! Definitely makes me happy and grateful that I turned out to be a decent human being, haha. :P

    Also, really loving the recent header image!!

  6. Ah, yes. I would tell my 13 year old self so many of these same things, but if I know her like I think I do, I have a feeling she wouldn't listen even if I begged her to. I guess that is the beauty of it though, learning as you go.. - Court |

  7. thirteen is absolutely the roughest age. if only thirteen year old girls knew that it would become so much more enjoyable to be a human!

    thanks for your honesty and humor in this. I loved it.


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