cheers, 2014!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A year ago today I moved to New York.
I had been visiting family in Portland, Oregon at the time and all I remember us talking about was what type of jobs I could apply for, why I shouldn't give up when things (inevitably) got hard, and where my first apartment might end up being. I spent the whole day wondering if I had made the right decision, if it was a mistake to move across the country from all my friends and family, and would the adventure be worth it?
One year later, here I am again. I spent this week with family in Portland and am taking that very same flight tonight back to New York City. It's surreal to realize that a whole year has gone by and to find myself in the same spot exactly 365 days later (home). All week I've been saying that it's "dangerous" for me to come back to Oregon because it tempts me with all the best things - my favorite people, stormy weather, great coffee. I've said it before, but there's something about the pacific northwest that just makes you feel good
A year ago, I wouldn't have been able to imagine what 2014 would hold. When I boarded that plane, I was so nervous and unsure about what was next. I worried about feeling lonely, about never finding friends as good as the ones I already had, about never finding a job, about failing. I'm so happy that it's now, because now I know that the adventure was so worth it. Now, I can't imagine not knowing the friends that I've made in New York. (How did I go so long without them?) I can't imagine not knowing the pure joy that is a pastrami sandwich at Katz's Deli or how awesome the Upper West Side looks in November. Of course, there are things I wish that I actually couldn't imagine (like the smell of the 23rd Street station at 2am or how it feels to be squished on a train during rush hour). But no place is perfect. ;)
Part of me wishes I could go back to that scared version of myself and say, Self, it's going to be great. But part of me thinks the not-knowing is what makes the adventure so worthwhile. I would be so mad at myself today if I hadn't gotten on that plane a year ago. Even if New York doesn't end up being forever, never giving it a try would have been the biggest mistake I've ever made. So with that I say, cheers to you, 2014! I think this has been my favorite year yet.  
2015, COME AT ME.


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