if you give a mouse a mattress

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Would you believe me if I told you that these are photos of my new bed?
Let's back up.
Two Sundays ago, J & I had the brilliant idea of going "window-bed-shopping" so that we could "get an idea of what we liked". (In English, this translates into "Two Sundays ago, J & I tortured ourselves by fake-shopping for a bed") We spent the day walking around IKEA, jumping on different mattresses and searching for the perfect headboard. In true Goldilocks fashion, we tried every single bed. 
"Too hard!" 
"Too soft!"
"Juuuust riiiighh- it costs how much? Er... too hard!" 
Fifteen hours later (because that's how long it took to find the Exit), we left empty-handed with our tails between our legs. The good news was, we knew exactly what we wanted. The bad news was, now we knew how much it cost. I suggested we "just do it!!!" and buy everything right there on the spot. J patted me on the head and suggested we wait a few more months (like the mature, financially responsible adults that we apparently are). I crossed my arms and stuck out my tongue like the immature baby that I really am.
After another week of crashing on our own couch, something miraculous happened. A friend of mine is calling it "getting bed bombed" which sounds questionable but is in fact awesome.
One Sunday ago, J surprised me with a new bed (!!!!!!). He secretly went back to IKEA, picked out all the pieces we chose (during that torturous weekend before), stood in the Home Delivery line for four hours (because IKEA is the devil), and arranged for a surprise delivery. I think it's safe to say that I have never been happier in my entire life. I forgot what it felt like to sleep in a bed! How soft sheets can be! What pillows are!
The cherry on top was getting a text from my boss - who knew all about the (goddamn) Couch Cube - telling me to come to work an hour later the next day, just so I could sleep in.
In conclusion, if you give a mouse a cookie, she'll probably ask you for some milk. But if you give a mouse a mattress, she'll probably do cartwheels and somersaults and all sorts of happy dances.


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