things that do not belong in a tiny apartment

Monday, July 7, 2014

In case you forgot, here are a few things that definitely do not belong in a tiny apartment:
  1. ferris wheels
  2. monster trucks
  3. elephants
  4. swingsets
  5. forklifts
  6. king-size beds
  7. flagpoles 
  8. Great Danes
  9. parade floats
  10. roller coasters
J is currently on a mission to squeeze one of these things into our apartment. (I'll let you guess which one, and if you're thinking 'ferris wheels', all I can say is, I wish).
He wants a king-size bed (and part of me can't blame him).
For the past few months, we've been sleeping on our couch. We had an air mattress for awhile, but one day a tiny, mysterious hole appeared at the foot of the "bed" and it deflated. It was pretty sad actually. We just stood there and watched as all the air whoooooshhhed out of it. Fortunately, we have since inherited J's parents' couch, which has played the role of Fake Bed just adequately enough to leave me with only a slight aching in my lower back every day. It's a leather sectional and (thank god) the kind that comes in separate pieces, so you can arrange it any way you want. Every night before bed, we rearrange our living room furniture so that we can scoot all the pieces together, effectively making one giant Couch Cube.
Yes, you read that correctly, a Couch Cube. I would take a picture for you, but I think it would be a lot more fun to let your imagination run wild. At first it was kind of funny. We thought we were soooo creative. A couch cube! Ha ha! Now three months have gone by and neither one of us is laughing. Nothing makes you feel like a deadbeat quite like crashing on your own couch every night.
Clearly it's time to put our grownup pants on and get a bed. The only problem is, I don't have a million dollars. What with rent, student loans, two kittens to raise, and an Oreo addiction to feed, my budget for buying a bed is roughly $12. My budget for a king-size bed? I'd say it's closer to $1.27. While I still think the only appropriate place for a king-size bed is in a hotel or at your parents' house, I'm starting to wonder if it's such a crazy idea after all. With the thought of one more night on the Couch Cube looming over me like a dark cube-shaped cloud, I'm suddenly feeling more willing to fork over my $1.27. 
(I gotta say though, it came down to it, I think I'd still pick the ferris wheel)


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